Q I’m sleeping with a guy who says thank you after we have sex. It’s very, uh, polite, but it feels weird like I’m a prostitute or something. Am I just overthinking it?
A Of all the stupid things a guy might say right after an orgasm leaves him gasping for breath, thank you is not even in the bottom 50. Yes, you are overthinking it. He doesn’t think you’re a ho. He’s just appreciative.. .and possibly inexperienced. He’s still thrilled that you chose him to get it on with (and there’s only so many times you can say That was ahhhmazing before it sounds insincere). That said, if his gratitude bugs you, let him know tell him thanks but no thanks.
Q I’m trying (and failing) to seduce my BF. He’s always too tired. Should I just buy a vibrator and get over myself?
A By all means, buy a vibrator and get off, but intimacy matters. If you pretend you don’t need sex, that dishonesty will push you apart. Tell him what you need. And when you buy that vibrator, show him how to use it.
Q I’m dating someone who insists on paying for everything, and it makes me really uncomfortable. How can I let him know without coming off as ungrateful?
A The way dudes tiptoe around money, it often seems like we’d rather talk about butt plugs than who’s picking up the check (I think guys pay to avoid the awkward conversation). But wanting to pay your own way is completely natural. Just tell him, I respect that you’re a gentleman, but I’d feel more comfortable if we took turns paying. When you alternate, you can end the date with a promise:
I’ve got the next one.
It is possible to live a life where you can reach for whatever dreams you want. Are you up for limitless living?
In a world where boundaries are encouraged and you’re often asked to tick a box to define yourself, the idea of a limitless life can seem daunting and unrealistic. People get overwhelmed by the idea of anything limitless, says life coach Khosi Shezi. But to prepare for a limitless life is to prepare for a life where you will not be tied down by your or other people’s rules and ideas of how your life should be, she says.
According to Shezi, we are conditioned to believe that life can only reach certain heights. There are all sorts of boundaries that we are led to believe define us, she says. Whether it’s your race, your gender, your economic position or even your marital status, these factors can be used to make you believe that you can’t live whichever way you want. Psychologist Janne Dannerup of Jmdpsych.com agrees. People define themselves through their context and by imagining possibilities, she says. The context provides barriers and limitations to what the person
perceives as doable and achievable. Being your limitless self means that you find ways to transcend those barriers and not only imagine possibilities outside that frame but also find ways to access those possibilities.
If freedom to live life on your terms is the payoff for limitless living then why do we need to prepare for it? Learning any new way of thinking or doing things needs preparation, says Shezi. This is primarily because you need to unlearn everything that you
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