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Women tell Timothy Stickney it’s his eyes that attract them, but he’s not convinced. “I think it’s that I look into their eyes. People in our society aren’t generally comfortable doing that.”

In fact, Timothy says, “watching and listening to people is part of my job as an actor.” It may also be his subtle secret weapon. “I finally figured out that the key to talking to women is listening,” he says. “It starts with paying attention when she tells you what’s on her mind, but it has to go further. You have to acknowledge that you’ve heard her, and that you can empathize.”

Timothy says that kind of approach runs counter to most men’s instincts. “Men want to solve the problem, or tell you what to do about if,” he says. “We’re used to saying, ‘I can fix that’ or ‘I can’t fix that, so let’s move on-anything else?’ That’s not what a woman wants when she tells you how she sees things. And believe me, I know when I’ve had a successful exchange. I’ll get a hug.

“I don’t try to be the pilot of the whole evening, acting suave or slick-like telling the cabbie how to get where we’re going. Whenever I’ve tried that, the date has been a disaster. Besides, even if you do orchestrate everything perfectly, all it means is you haven’t been paying attention to the woman you’re with.”

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