Easy-as BBQ cook-ups Best road trips around How to get your strongest body but some of us aren’t so strong. Even though we know, on an intellectual level, that it isn’t real. What we read and see there is heavily curated and airbrushed up the wazoo by strangers who are every bit as broken and messy, as terrible with money and rude to their mothers, as perpetually late and cranky before caffeine as we are. Intellectually, yes. But still our hearts don’t get it. Our hearts believe that everyone elses life is more amazing, their stomach flatter, their puppy cuter, their boyfriend hotter and their holidays more glamorous than ours. When the time comes to put the phone down (by slowly unpeeling each frozen finger one by one) and exist again in our own bodies, we re a big mess of not-enoughness.
I realise it’s a funny time of year to be talking about social media and self-care, My favourite writer Anne Lamott tells a story about shopping with a friend who had advanced cancer. Anne came out ofthe change room worrying the dress she’d picked made her look fat and the friend who was dying said, “Honey, I don’t think you have that kind oft me.” If social media is slowing you down, do what you have to do. Unfollow people who make you feel less-than. Look at the screen less, the world more and try to remember, on some level, it’s all the worst kind of baloney.
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As well as wishing you a Merry Christmas, I wish for you an abundant measure of contentment and an al nost superhuman ability to sniff out the BS of social media, so you don’t waste one more second of being precisely, exactly, authentically you.
“Here’s the thing. Real human life is messy and imperfect, and will never match up to a phoney; filtered ideal”.
HOWARE YOU GOING WITH SOCIAL MEDIA? I don’t mean how many followers do you have, how many likes did your last agafbowl get on Insta.
I mean, how are you going? The real human you. How is your heart? Your self-concept, your poor, tired brain?
I ask (you and me both), because recently on Twitter, scrolling through the snark and posturing, the ads, the jokes, the fury and the nothing, I landed on one tiny Tweet that said “I feel so bad. Social media’s too hard. I really need a break.”
I don’t know the girl who felt moved to post that, but it cut through all the noise because the feeling behind it was so real, so sad, and I think, so common.
Some people can shrug off the crazy comparison spiral that is social media, except that Christmas can do a number on us the exact same way.
The expectations, the pressure to shop and eat and be capital-H Happy while surrounded by a perfectly camera-ready family can highlight everything we wish we have and don’t.
Here’s the thing: Real human life is messy and imperfect, and will never match up to a phoney, filtered ideal. But there is stuff that still needs to be done that only you can do. In the sphere of your existence, no matter how big or small, you’re the only one who can care for your family, run your race, write your novel, smile at your neighbour. Please don’t wait until you’re richer, prettier, happier before getting on with whatever it is that only and exactly you are on this earth to do couchfit (couch + outfit) to get healthy.
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